So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
