Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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