Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Even my vagina gasped.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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