do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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