I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
