And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Your topless pictures make me question reality
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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