All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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