Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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