All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
