just come out here and I will go home with you...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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