He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You are the jesus of drinking
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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