didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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