Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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