can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it was like his penis was on wheels.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
