We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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