I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
