why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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