But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
