I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
