the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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