dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
