I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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