Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
