Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize