Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
