a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
