one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize