You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
