Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
