oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
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i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
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Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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