Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
