When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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