There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize