saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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