she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
