FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
