He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize