Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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