I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
