Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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