his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
