All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
