Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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