I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
