So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
