Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
