Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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