So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize