I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
