my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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