Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
