well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
