I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize