Your face is a jimmy john
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
