is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize