They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just gift wrapped bread.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
